New Zealandball
"Wanna chip bro?" ''- New Zealandball 'New Zealandball', abbreviated '''NZball', is a countryball southeast of Australiaball. He is the son and former colony of UKball and the brother of Australiaball, Canadaball, and USAball. He has a pet kiwi and is known for the Lord of the Rings film and being the Adventure Capital of the World, he has 3 children, Niue, Tokelau, and the Cook Islands. Even though New Zealand is known for being a peaceful, caring nation, he can be a fierce warrior. So if you mess with him, he will drop you. He is one of UKball's favorite former-colonies. However UK despises his sheep, the fact he respects minorities, and gives his natives (Maoriball) rights. He often gets mixed up with Australiaball. He planned to change his flag but people prefered the original flag. History Pre Colonization Some time in the 12th century, the Maori lived on a small island. Unfortunately they began to run low on food supplies and set sail in search of new land, and after months of sailing they landed on what was the coast of New Zealand. They decided to settle down on this land and care for its natural beauty and resources. European arrival In 1642 Netherlandsball was sailing across the Pacific Ocean, when he sighted land, but before he came ashore he was attacked by Maoriball and quickly left. In 1769 Englandball landed on shore and made peaceful contact with Maoriball, and after that the French arrived. New Zealand's had rich resources, so he sold wood for ships and garden produce in trade for muskets which unfortunately broke out in many musket wars between Maori tribes. Colonization In the 18th century, UKball was getting quite worried about the land he had taken from the Maori and the fear Franceball might annex New Zealand, so in 1840 he got Maoriball to sign the Treaty of Waitangi which gave him full control of New Zealand and also made it compulsory for New Zealand to fight alongside UKball. New Zealandball was born. World War I As soon as Britain declared war on German Empireball, New Zealandball found himself fighting in Europe. In 1915 New Zealandball teamed with his brother Australiaball to form the ANZACS, and went to war against Ottoman Empireball. Unfortunately on the day of attack he landed on the wrong beach and was shot. Relationships Friends New Zealand is a multi-cultural country, so unless you piss me off, you're a friend. But here are some of my best mates. *Angloballs - The Anglo countryballs are muh maaates. ** UKball - My father. I share some cultural history with Roastbeef, but I now have a unique cultural identity and accent. Also the bloody Pom who can't play rugby to save his life. However he loves me for keeping my Union Jack, and my loyalty to him. ** Australiaball - My more outstanding brother, we have a sibling rivalry. However, we fought together as the Anzac's in World War I. Bowls like a bloody idiot, I WILL NEVER FORGET 1981!!!! I still love him dearly though. ** Canadaball - We both say 'eh', but Canadaball is more stereotyped for it. We are both overshadowed by our brothers, and we both share being equally nice! Except for when i'm on the sauce (drunk) . ** USAball - The shining star of the siblings. I had good trade with USA, but after I refused to let him park his nuclear ships in my waters, he hasn't been talking to me that much. * Maoriball - I maintain a peaceful relationship with my native inhabitants. This is probably why he is irrelevant, aside from his geographic location. 7% of New Zealandball speaks Maori, while 90% speak English, the Anglos have all committed genocide on a native of some sort but I haven't! Well there was that one time with the Samoans... * Commonwealthball - Who is that bloke again? *Polynesiaball - I own most of your islands * South Koreaball - Good friends with them. Apparently he is a sworn enemy with North Koreaball, so South Koreaball is our friend. * Netherlandsball - was the first explorers of my clay, and also gave me my name! Until the Maori killed him for some reason. * Chileball - Gave wheat during gold rush. * Indiaball - Makes good curry, top shit. * South Africaball - Me and him had a fight about his apartheid, but we're on good terms. Probably the only one who is a challenge to beat in rugby. * Englandball - Won't admit i'm better at rugby & cricket. * Walesball - Probably the only person who understands sheep like I do. * Germanyball - Once I found and built a bike in my garage and won the Daytona! The Krauts face when a bike I built from parts I found in a dump beat his "superior German engineering"! Cunts/Enemies * North Koreaball - Apparently they read The Crysalids novel, realized New Zealand (erroneously Sealand) still exists after a nuclear holocaust, and threaten New Zealand with a nuclear strike. * Franceball - The French detonated several nuclear bombs near New Zealand, and sanctioned the bombing of the Rainbow Warrior, a peaceful Greenpeace ship. They're on good terms today, but New Zealandball is still a bit grumbly. * Bosnia and Herzegovinaball - HOW DARE U TELL TOKELAUBALL TP CHANGE HOS FLAF, FUCK U * Japanese Empireball - Fuck you cunt! If you even dare bomb my beautiful clay I will fucking come over there and shove the biggest piece of- wait he's dead now? * Ottoman Empireball - Look mate, I pretty much only fought against you because I was thrown into that war. And also because my dad thinks he can beat everything by throwing countries at it. Stereotypes One stereotype of New Zealand is that it doesn't exist. New Zealand is a country that is routinely distorted on maps, often being situated on one certain corner, or occasionally not situated anywhere at all. One stereotype is that New Zealand is 'where men are men, and so are the women'. For being masculine. Another is that New Zealand speaks a strange language. New Zealand is stereotyped for being the best in the world at rugby. And why wouldn't we be? We won the world cup three times! Lord of the Rings. Enough said. New Zealand is also known for being the reason that the small islands are not being annexed, in fact New Zealand pretty much decide whether they live or die, as he is one of the country's that actually give a shit about them. Gallery CrkaFEj.png.jpg|New Zealand as a soldier. Borkpocalipse stralia 2.png Borkpocalipse stralia.png Guess country with poland 5.png Eh.png|new Zealand's flag is based of the UK's flag so canada wanted to ask why he wont change flag W63Le8Q.png SW8sMV3.png Wait your my capital?.jpg New Zealand's Occupation of Samoa.png West Coastball (New Zealand).png zq9qpnk.jpg Polandball community by tringapore-d7m55l1.png 9NMAnPW.png EJNxCYw.png YXlC2Mk.png VoNkUek.png 'nzJ9Gj0.png 693981472199320720.png Screen Shot 2015-07-06 at 1.54.06 pm.png A1RYxXw.png Screen Shot 2015-06-28 at 12.41.56 pm.png Screen Shot 2015-07-26 at 10.48.21 am.png EtyUWPx.png G3lhIR1.png Sele_Polandball.png Polandball_squad.png Club_internacional_Polandball.png Familia_de_countryballs.png Da_Polandball_crew.png 7COgkZP.png Links *Facebook page Category:Commonwealth Category:Homosex Lovers Category:English Speaking Countryball Category:Oceania Category:Pacific Ocean Category:Indigenous Category:Rich Category:Death Penalty Removers Category:New Zealand Category:Monarchy Category:Christian Category:Earthquake Category:Austronesian Category:Questioning flag Category:Independent Category:Irrelevant Category:Relevant Category:Wine